whyyyy...?

我怎么还在记忆里徘徊　一个我最爱的人已不在。

I'm getting so emotional... I almost burst into tears when I read some of the emails written in to all of us. They really struck me hard. An impact I've never felt before. I was on the verge of tears upon reading those words.... Come to think back now.. we used to enjoyed every single moment we spent together, and when we were all carefree just for that short period of time. No matter how short-lived it was, you were all there. All of you made this feelin SPECIAL. Now it's fadin away.. How can we save it now with all the upcoming obstacles. It's hard to predict and I don't wna imagine what will happen to us. Why do we end ourselves in such a sad state, my lovelies... Why?

Sometimes, it's not good to know everything. They can kill. Jealousy can kill. I wish I didn't even stop myself from getting run over by that damn effing car. Kill me for all I care. I rather forget. I rather forget the world. I rather they didn't exist. They carved memories and made my head bleed. I can't get them off my head 'cause I know I'll never stop thinking. WHY DID I STOP THEN?!

Pisangs, my closest band friends, my besties and my family are the reason why I am alive today. But the world never seems to stop taking them away from me.. They're fading into gray gradually.. The world can never understand... Why don't you take away my life.... This emotionally unstable, emo-wrecked and damaged human being is all yours. I'm banging my walls...... Smile.

Seehua, I promise. Thanks for being there... I really want to kill the monsters around us.. Love...